Tales From The Travels

My son got detention this afternoon for missing three homework assignments in math. I almost laughed when he told me last night. Not that I think its funny that he has detention. It’s just that we sit down every night with his assignment book, the team expectations and his homework and we talk about what is going on in school and his homework. By his attitude, you would think I have him under the bright lights. He’s very reluctant to talk about anything and if I get anything out of him I have to drag it. I keep telling him that I’m not a bad guy here, I’m trying to help him. So, when he told me about the detention I pointed out to him that this was the kind of thing I’ve been trying to prevent. I think I got through to him a little. I hope so because we’re going to do it every night whether he enjoys it or not.

I’ve explained to him the reason I put so much emphasis on his study skills, the fact that I had a total lack of study skills when I finished high school. I graduated high school when I was just 16. High school was a breeze for me. I could pick up a textbook and practically absorb the material. I would single-handedly raise the class average on exams. All without studying. This will work in the modern lame-brain excuse of a glorified day-care center for teenagers we call high schools. But, it doesn’t work for college. It doesn’t work today, and it didn’t work back then.

Because of the ease of my classes, I not only developed bad study habits, but I actively got involved in bad activities. I ended up as this weird combination of a nerd and a punk. In the classroom, I was the teacher’s darling. Out of the classroom, I was constantly getting into trouble. I was shown the file the principle had on me one time and it was over two inches thick. Of course, I wasn’t guilty of all I was accused of. Once you get a reputation, you get blamed for everything.

So it was that I went off to my freshman year at college woefully unprepared. I had no study habits and thought I was majoring in wine, women, and song. It’s a pretty good major, if you can convince the school to allow it. I didn’t. We were on quarters at the school my freshman year. The first quarter I did ok, I was still working my way in. The second quarter, though, I had a network and ended up with a .9 grade point average. That’s not a typo. Point nine out of 4.0. Things weren’t going well.

I transferred my sophomore year and ended up dropping out after one semester. Even though I was working to turn things around, 8 o’clock classes, studying, and homework just were not on my agenda. Everyone kept telling me I would never be back. I insisted I would be. The year that followed was maybe the most difficult of my life. It was very tough to make a living as an unskilled teenager. But, I made it and then returned to school, one year after dropping out. Mostly, I returned just because everyone had said I never would. That really wasn’t a good reason and dropped out again at the end of that semester.

I tried to find some decent employment, but it wasn’t to be found. Most of what I could get was minimum wage. The only jobs that offered better than that were so crummy they had to offer a good wage to get anyone to do it. At the end of my rope and with no hope in sight, I joined the Navy. It really turned my life around. And, you better believe that after working and living on the destroyer, 8 o’clock classes and homework didn’t look so bad.

Of course, I eventually got my bachelor’s degree, and then went on the grad school to get my master’s and Ph.D. The road I took was fun, adventurous, and exciting. I am glad I did it and have no regrets. But, that doesn’t mean I want my son to have to do it. I want him to learn those study skills.